They warned me about beer bellies and slower metabolism,

They reminded me that school friends would become acquaintances.

I was prepared for routines and clockwork sleep schedules,

I grudgingly accepted the increasingly elaborate hangover cures. 

On most days I am grateful for the steady bank balance, and

I’ve even made my peace with the lack of summer vacations. But 

What I can’t get behind, is how a single unconventional sleeping position 

Can put my shoulder out of business for an entire week. 

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