Seeking: Un-solitary Non-confinement

Do you catch a waft of silent desperation?

Hanging in the air

Over my failed baking experiments

Do my punchlines sound rehearsed?

From the hours I spend, facing a mirror

Perfecting my deliveries

 

Can you sense my uneasiness?

When asked a personal question

About a past riddled with broken relationships

Do you recognise my fear?

Of being found out

For all my failings that may end us momentarily

 

Am I delusional?

To seek out a wholesome connection

In a reality of conveniences and priorities

Is it too late?

To build foundations for lifelong friendships

When decades have passed since most were laid

 

Is there no promise?

For the girl who refused to belong

While simultaneously craving companionship

Where lies the mythical abode?

For the girl who ran away

From all that she feared and loved the same.

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